Dear Commish...

This was a post a fellow clanmate made about me after a fun night of BF2:SF. I just had to preserve it somewhere. :)
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TO: Commissioner Major League Baseball
FROM: Confcav
RE: MerlinTW

Commissioner –

I have a suggestion that may return baseball to its original glory as a respected sport – recruit MerlinTW as a pitcher. MerlinTW has extraordinary skill throwing grenades. Just the other night on SF he was chucking ‘nades at me from the top of one building to the top of another building I was on at a virtual distance of approximately 100 yards, and was extremely accurate in his intent without being hindered by distance or range, and all the while under extreme enemy fire mind you. He even took a few rounds to the body without dying while he proceeded to annihilate me; just think how he could withstand a line drive to the chest at the pitcher’s mound. In today’s melodrama of steroid use and inappropriate behavior in the major leagues, he would return respect to this sport as he is clean of body and spirit. Oh, he may enjoy a cold pilsner now and again or teabag a fellow player on the field, but otherwise he would not bring any disrespect to your sport.

I ask that you give serious consideration to this request as it would be a win-win situation for all. If recruited to MLB his income would be supplemented by the high wages earned as a professional player, lend his presence to returning respect to the sport by his throwing ability and non-scandalous behavior, and most importantly, a reprieve for the rest of us to heal up.

Respectfully submitted,

ConfCav
President, FBMS (Fragged By Merlin Society)